If your sex life has become a routine or is becoming boring, you are just having sex with your partner like one of those chores you need to complete, then it high time you begin to look inwards and start spicing your bedroom with a bit of kink which will help return the fire that is almost quenching from your love life. Well, if you are thinking on how to do this, you need to keep reading to grab how you can introduce it into your marriage!
Kink might not necessarily have a technical or medical definition but it can be described as non conventional sexual practices. It is mostly about any sexual practice that falls out of the conventional sexual activities.
Kink can be some simple sexual activities like loving touch, kissing, masturbation, romantic talk to the extreme ones like BDSM ( Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism), fantasy and role-playing (creating imagined scenarios-talking about a fantasy in bed), fetishes ( this is about treating a nonsexual body part or objects sexually), exhibitionism or voyeurism (having sex in public place or watching one undress or having sex without their knowledge) or group sex( introducing sex parties, orgies, threesomes or more).
Other adventure buffet includes spanking, handcuffs, erotic massage, orgasm denial, rope, biting, and hair pulling, blindfolding and other off the head options.
How To Introduce Kink Into Your Marriage
Sometimes trying to introduce kink into your marriage can be intimidating, leaving one with fear of going to be humiliated, rejected or vulnerable to judgment. Even in a long term marriage expressing interest in kink can be overwhelming, but then again your partner isn’t a mind reader and as such it better to key them in either verbally or in action.
Well, one obstacle one need to overcome when it comes to introducing kink into marriage is social stigma since a lot of people might see it as moral deficiency or one being deviant but hey! If it is what you need to get the spark back into your marriage, please go ahead with time everyone will adjust. So to introduce kink into your marriage effortlessly use the following tips.
1. Start out slowly
This is like taking the baby steps towards including kink into your routine. As you are rolling in a hot and steamy sex session with your partner you can throw in a kink or two into the mix. You might not start with whipping or spanking your partner hard on the butt but little doses of light swats on the butt, having dirty talks and maybe kissing all over the body might just draw your other partner out to reciprocate same and respond all the way with total eagerness.
2. Identify your kinks
Introducing kinks into your marriage is just like introducing anything new to your marriage, you first need to understand yourself to be able to use it with your partners and maybe your partner understanding the same to key in. So first thing will be understanding things that turn you on and acknowledging your attraction to certain sexual ideas that you would love to try out. Discuss it within yourself first why those things turn you on so that you can share it passionately with your partner. Giving an in-depth knowledge or detail about it might get your partner excited to want to try it out with you.
3. Use hypothetical situation to introduce kinks
If you have a partner that sees bondage sex or risqué public sex as no big deal then you don’t have much problems; just go ahead introducing the kinks! But if you fear your partner will find it disgusting or apprehensive about it then introducing it in an hypothetical way will be helpful. This will help keep away the possibility of anyone judging you.
So you can start by giving your partner a description of the kinky sex you imagine both of you in and don’t leave out the sexy details. Then wait around for the responds and reactions. Just have it at the back of your mind they will be intrigued by it and then go ahead to conclude that you both try it out. Viola, you might be on the way to having the kinky sex you ever imagined.
4. Throw in some sex toys into the mix
Throwing in sex toys into your sexual repertoire wouldn’t be a bad idea for your sex life as a couple. Sex toys stand between giving us the kinkier options and bare-bones vanilla sex. The sex toys usage afford us the opportunity of exploring new sexual sensations as couples in a marriage. Sex toys like the vibrating cock ring, small vibrating bullet etc can be used on most on the body’s sensitive parts to elicit pleasure. You can also try to bring in a new lube into the mix as well; any new thing to turn both of you on and get you both giggling excitedly in the bedroom will make sex kinkier.
5. Do a little research
If you are thinking of introducing it into your marriage, then you need to do your homework thoroughly. When once you get to the point you want to introduce kinkier options, do some research especially if you are still a newbie in this game. It will need you doing things safely, don’t just go experimenting what you just read from a kinky book or seen in a movie. Your plan of a kink is to make your marriage and partner more exciting and not hurting it to extent of either temporary or permanent damage.
Before you introduce a delicate kink you can start by consulting a good sex resource before using it to be sure you are on the safe side. A good sex resource will help provide you with bright ideas that will help you enjoy your preferred kink better.
6. Start with some little restraints
Don’t start this journey with diving straight into the deep; don’t start with the hardcore ones. Do the soft ones that are just romantic touches and gradually increase the tempo but still with caution. Always remember your partner is still very new to the kinks so don’t overwhelm them with so many kinks at a time. You can enjoy one until the excitement fizzles out before introducing another. That way apart from enjoying the unlimited pleasure you will be also exploring with the different kinks to know which give you both the heavenly bliss you were anticipating but apply caution for safety.
7. Don’t worry about imperfect
Most perfect things in life come from imperfection so being imperfect when introducing it into your marriage isn’t an exception. It is only natural if you think you are doing it wrong but don’t worry about that, since both of you are still new to it. Remember that constant practice brings perfection so what you need do is continue with the practice. The thing is that fantasies sometimes look great in our head but play out imperfectly in real life but it all good.
So just go ahead with it, there’s isn’t even a streamline way of getting things kinky in the bedroom so you can even be creative with it by doing it your own way. Just spins things the way you like and let everything fall in naturally and begin to have your groove with your partner in a no-hold barred way.
8. Reasons why you need to introduce kink into your marriage
The truth is that complaining and whining about boredom in the bedroom will not change anything, unless the right action is taken because words are easier said than done. Kink can be that additional excitement you might need to keep things hot in your marriage. The following reasons might help you see reasons why you should introduce kink into your marriage.
9. It will push your sexual limits
Thinking about introducing kink into your marriage will make you explore your sexual limit. Maybe you had fantasized about some type of sexual play for a while but you feel it would be comfortable or safe to act on it. With the boredom hovering on your sex life, it will be the right time to introduce that. You talk it out with your partner. Viola! You are trying it out and with this you get rewarded with deeper sexual pleasure than it was.
10. To gain more trust in the marriage
If you need to trust your partner then you needs to go ahead and discuss some kinky sex styles with them and indulge in the actions too. With this respect is built and of course having shared such a raw experience with your partner, you wouldn’t only get the needed sexual satisfaction; bond and trust will be built overtime.
11. The need to have multiple options to reduce bedroom burnout
Boredom also sets in when there are limited avenues, means or ways of satisfying selves in the bedroom. With the introduction of kink into the bedroom there will be wider array of kinky options to choose from. The fact remains that the more varieties one has to choose from, the less boredom to be experienced in the bedroom. Remember not all kink is about pain or dominance & submission. You can just tickle your partner with a feather or just gently pinning his or her wrists down apart from the other forms of biting, spanking, blindfolding, erotic massage etc.
12. Needing deeper sense of relaxation
If you have being looking for that kinky sex feel then you need to introduce some kink in your relationship which will help you relax better after the activity. Adding kink to the bedroom comes with warm feeling of accomplishment that will permeates the mind and body when done. So to have endorphins and all the happy chemicals flood your brain, you need to excite yourself more, which adding kink to your sex life have to offer. The after effect of kinky sex life is having all the sensation blends together and leaving you in a state of euphoria and deeper sense of relaxation.
13. How to bring kink up with your partner
You have been curious about trying your hands at kinky sex but you don’t know how to bring it up with your partner. Kink will definitely bring excitement to your sex life with your partner but introducing it to him or her might need a bit of finesse. Well, you will be covered here on how to talk to your partner about your desire to bring out the kinky sides of both of you in your marriage.
14. Communicate to your partner
The first weapon for this is communication; you need to start talking to your partner about your interest. So you have to open up to your partner about your fantasies and fetishes. If you need to prevent death of sex and sexual adventure in your marriage then you need to tell your partner about the kink you love and want to introduce to him. So start talking now if you haven’t.
15. Give your partner some kinky articles to read
This is another great way to let your partner into your kink; you could just give them some articles on kinks online to read. Let them get to know from other perspectives not necessarily from you and ask them afterwards what they think. So if you don’t want to be upfront with your partner by telling them all you have got to say, you can be just be passing them some articles on kink and its benefits to marriages.
16. Make it a conversation
If you cannot have face to face discussion though there’s nothing to be ashamed of but sometimes we might get shy about saying it to our partner face-to-face, then going the route of a conversation over a text, sending it as an email or instant messaging wouldn’t be a bad idea. Really, the abstraction might even make it easier to let out our secrets and fantasies. So with this it might even be a two way thing. You could also ask your partner to text or email you his or her fantasies too. So if you have been feeling shy go ahead and send that email now.
Benefits of Introducing Kink Into Your Marriage
There are numerous benefits we can derived from adding kink our marriage, especially for marriages that the sexual flames was almost quenching and for those it has totally been put off for a while now. Of course the best solution to fan the flames here to fire is introducing some kinks. Here are some benefits derived from adding kink to one’s marriage.
17. Bring more connection to couples
Though kink has been seen as a taboo topic in most homes or marriages, because some partners feel embarrassed to tell the other partner about their fetishes and fantasies maybe for fear of being judged or ridiculed, but when once this hurdle is crossed and sexual desires are openly talked about, there’s this high level of closeness that it will bring. It helps the couple to bond better because they will be more into one another.
18. Introducing kink brings more exciting sex
This is like the outstanding benefits of adding kink to one’s marriage. A lot of couple prefer to sit all day complaining about boring sex, when it is no brainer that the way out is to add some kinks in the bedroom. The whole essence of kink is to add that spark and spice into the bedroom though the rate needed is up to the couple involved.
There’s a reason why there are sex ideas, kink, sex toys and different types of sexual activities. It is all to help us mesmerize our partner in the bedroom and keep the fire burning. There’s always a thing for everyone. So whether one wants to add 1, 2 or many kinks the thing is that you have introduced kink and there benefit is exciting sex life and flavor in the bedroom.
19. Adding kink will lead to more sex
Another frustrating thing for couples in marriages is when one of the partners dislike too much sex and the other love it a lot; there will definitely be conflict here. In cases like this, what will help will be introduction of kink. The truth is that people hardly do what they don’t enjoy but when they enjoy they do more. Sex might not be appealing to you or your partner because there’s something about it that isn’t enjoyable.
If there other activities you might be enjoying more than having sex with your partner then adding kink might be the way out and when once this is added sex becomes more exciting and enjoyable and what next? Asking for more sex right? So adding kink to your marriage will bring varieties which will enable your partner and you explore to have the best sex session that would arouse you both for more sex.
20. Kink in marriage will sustain it and bring strong long term marriage
A lot of marriage break downs stem from boredom in the bedroom. When once one partner becomes bored he or she might want to try the outside world like getting a new partner to start an affair and not too long the home front suffers and if it isn’t nip in the bud as early as possible there will be a total break-down.
So the core tenets of successful kinky sex in a marriage are strong communication, trust, understanding and patience. So don’t allow socially constructed taboos to be an hindrance to getting a long lasting marriage and in your way of getting your pleasure. Just go forth and get really naughty with your partner.
Life can get so busy and tough that the bedroom is left unattended to by couples. For some couples sex might not just be as exciting as it used to be. They might still be enjoying it but it doesn’t just have that excitement it used to have when sex happens. Well, a lot of couples might shrug it off because they believe they have other things on their mind but is your partner okay with that? Are you ok with that?
The solution to this isn’t letting things be to avoid nasty stories, the way out is spicing up your marriage. Ignite the fire of excitement that was once there so that both of you will also be excited in looking forward to being in the bedroom for hot sex.
Foraying into kinky sex in your bedroom doesn’t have to be a shift from your lifestyle; it can simply be something you have a conversation about and then begin to use to have a deeper intimacy and maybe spiritual connection with your other partner. So go try them out today.
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