Going for couple’s therapy should be a great thing for couples seeking to make their life and relationship better. Couples therapy can beneficial because a partner would be seeking to respond to another partner in person than talking about them in individual therapy which the other partner might not be part of. With couple therapy both partners are involved. With this kind of setting of course, will bring more success story and complications will be eliminated.
Well, the truth is that some couples stay around and allow marital problems to fester for so long, the fact remains that the longer the wait, the more difficult it becomes to remedy the problems and restore the relationship. Couples therapy is a great solution to salvage a marriage or relationship before it gets that far. So no matter how far gone the problems, it is still perfect to give it a try. Couple therapy will absolutely works if those involved are ready to give it a chance.
What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy which is otherwise known as couples counseling can be describe as a form of therapy that deals with couples intimate relationships. This is a therapy that is most helpful for partners that are seeking improvements in intimacy and is helpful for couples trying to fight separation and divorce. It will enable each partner to pay attention to self-awareness and self-improvement.
How Is Couples Therapy Done?
The whole essence of couples therapy is to assist couples to know more about each other and also learn healthy problem solving skills. The therapist will first interview the couple either individually or together in the first few meetings. They will offer feedback later. Then they will be asked to set some therapeutic goals with the help of the therapists and maybe also develop a plan so each partner will an idea of what to expect because their success will depend on both their dedication and motivation.
Now as the treatment continues, each partner might become a better communicator and listener and also learn new ways of supporting one another though conflicts may raise its ugly heads a times but it will be up to the therapist to remain neutral and totally avoid taking sides. In cases like this, the therapist might offer supplemental individual sessions to each of the people in the partnership for more one-on-one support.
Lastly, couple therapy is generally held once in a week, and the schedule will depends on the couple’s goals and also on whether it is a group therapy sessions or individual session. This kind of therapy is always short term even though healing might take a longer time but then, it might still continue as long as the partners are committed to finish the treatment plan or reach a resolution.
When Do You Need Couples Therapy?
The truth is, it is always the best thing as soon as discontent is experienced in a relationship. You don’t need to delay a therapy until an issue is beyond your control, because a little issue might turn into a crisis, though the recommended time is always about 6 months for some minor issues but this delay might make the situation more critical and difficult to resolve or repair.
We all know that relationships will always experience conflict and tension and some couples might not know when to seek for couple’s therapy. Well, the following factors or issues may to be taken seriously once you notice it in your relationship. So seek couples therapy if you are confronted with the following relationship problems:
This is one area that can bring myriads of other issues in a relationship. When one partner wants to totally be in charge and this becomes an unbalanced relationship, no more do partners in love listen and communicate effectively with one another. Sometimes it needs a lot of counseling for the other partner to see why a power tussle wouldn’t help or bring any positive result in a relationship. So an issue like this will need to be nip in the bud through a therapy.
No partner will sit pretty to contend with this because this issue leaves the other person feeling hurt, betrayed, devastated, lonely and bitter. So if you are facing this then getting couples therapy is imminent. In a situation like this it might take some therapy session to repair or resolve the situation.
A substance abuser or serial abuser will need some therapy to get on the right track. Mere talking, nagging, coercion by the other partner might be abortive and even make the abuser becomes more determined to continue in the habit because of resentment and anger. So getting a professional help might just be the way out.
It is a known that anger is a little moment of madness that might bring a huge damage afterwards. Dealing with an angry person can be frustrating, counter-productive and devastating. So if one partner exhibit high level of anger over minor issues then it might just be time to seek for professional input through couple’s therapy. It might just be the antidote after all.
No home or relationship can be enjoyed with constant unrest and high level of stress. It will always look like the couples are in a warfronts or zones. Everyone is trying to tear at each other. No proper communication, no positive plans for the future, no cordial relationship, just strife and argument daily. These issues might not go away on its own, so going the therapy route might just be needed here. So when once frequent conflicts are experienced this way couple therapy might just be the answer.
Major life adjustments
This is another area where problems arise for couples especially when plans that weren’t part of their plans for the present or future are encountered. One partner might want to execute such plan selfishly or in such a way that is will negatively affects the other partner or maybe the adjustments have been made already and it is detrimental to the wellbeing of the couples or relationship, seeking out a therapy might just be the best bet.
Other minor issues maybe communication issues, sexual dissatisfaction, financial issues, conflicting ideas and childrearing etc. All of these will need some counseling to help a relationship survive.
Things to do before seeking couples therapy
It is a fantastic idea to seek for couples therapy whenever there are issues that can’t be handled in a relationship but then you should be committed to repair your marriage or relationship and try your possible best not to let things escalate. There are things that can be done to keep things in the low before resolving to contact a couple’s therapist or while seeing out a competent therapist for your therapy secession. You can consider doing the following:
Avoid further damage
No need continuing the cycle of abuse or issues you are already in, sort out the best ways to end or prevent the unhealthy pattern of issues or interaction that is heightening the stress in the relationship. The problem is brewing already; see how to minimize it than increasing the feud. You might be looking at getting a better or positive result from your therapy session; you can start the positivity from here. Stop the yelling, nagging, screaming, loud talking and start using a low tone if possible a pleasant one too.
You can also start with working on your feelings, bad habits and maybe miscommunication to eliminate further damage. So first halt the unhealthy spiral and chose a different way of doing things or responding to situations, be more positive and see how its goes.
Do more of things and indulge in behaviors that only nourish your mind, body and soul. The road to a healthy relationship through therapy is never an easy one, sometimes it might be a bit long and difficult so it easy a magic wand that makes things happen instantly , so it will better you prepare yourself physically and mentally for it.
So you choose to start soaking up love from supportive people around you, seek things that gladdens your heart, exercise yourself, have uninterrupted sleep, rest, eat healthily and take good amount of water. Bad feelings and hurt might have halted you from taking care of yourself but you can start now.
The same way therapy will want you to start seeing things from a different perspective is what is applicable here. So this is about you and your partner thinking and feeling differently about what is happening. So before the therapy begins, you can first start thinking about your experience from a new perspective, shift your point of view from negativity to positivity.
You start by asking self about what is happing in your relationship and if there are alternative ways to deal with them than the ways you are used to. Then you can begin to apply some practice of mindfulness. You can use guided imaginations, yoga or spending ample time with nature to achieve this.
But if the following doesn’t help then it is time to seek for a competent licensed counselor or therapist as your last resort.
How To Prepare For Couples Therapy
Preparing yourself effectively for couples therapist start with choosing the right couples therapist that would help fixed your goals and objectives on why you needed the couples therapy in the first place. You will need to ascertain that the therapist you are contacting is the best fit for you. Going with the a therapist that everyone will trust will be a lot more helpful, when once trust is established then communicating the road path to success will be easy for the therapist. So how do you choose the right couples therapists?
How Do I Choose The Right Couples Therapist?
Interview more therapists
If you are new to this, and you haven’t had the opportunity of interacting with one before, then you need to do your homework well to find a perfect therapist or counselor for yourself. Start by contacting about 3 or 4 or more as the case maybe that you are sure can handle your counseling session. So find out about their areas of specialization, their strengths and how good they are. Remember that a hasty selection might lead to lost of valuable time.
Find out their track records
This is another area you should try to find out before engaging any couples therapists. Spending maybe weeks attending couples therapy session to later realize that the therapist isn’t who you needed can add more frustration to the already troubled situation. This might even make your partner experience more doubt, so do your research thoroughly.
Engage a therapist or counselor you are comfortable with
Don’t be in a haste, still take out a little time upfront to discover a professional that is good and most especially one which you and your spouse will be happy , comfortable and readily available emotionally to open up to. Because there will be the questions and answers session where the therapists will want to find out more about you two. This is the best way the therapist can provide his or her services to the best of their ability.
Find out your therapist’s or counselor’s view on marriage
Though the final decision of the outcome of the therapy lies with you but you need to find a counselor that shares your same bias. The therapy session will definitely impact your life so make sure you are engaging a therapist that align with your ideas because if the counselor bias run against yours then this become an uphill task for you. So from the very start get a therapist that aligns with you so that the process will have a highest chance of succeeding.
6 Bulletproof Ways Of Preparing For Couples Therapy
Couple therapy might be the great strides you need to take to overcome damaging issues in your relationship but you need to prepare to be the next success story. How here are 6 ways to get your self prepared.
Have a good soul searching
Tell yourself the truth if you really want a solution to your issues and you actually desired them. If there’s no desire or commitment to have or fix a relationship, going for a therapy will be a waste of valuable time. So if you still want to find for the relationship then half of the challenges are already fixed. So prepare yourself mentally and physically to go all out to achieve success. Couple therapy will be success if both partners are in tune to make it work. So search yourself and be prepared to see a resolution or repairs happen.
Your therapeutic goals
To get prepared will need you sit with your partner to outline your goals, if this isn’t possible for both of you then you can do it yourself. Try to write out your expectation and find a way of getting a counselor that will be on the same page with you regarding your expectations that way it wouldn’t be a struggling trying to achieve that. Be sure of what you really what to see happen in your relationship and go for it. You should though set realistic goals and prepare your mind in seeing changing even it come in a snail pace.
Acknowledge therapy as an option
Another way of preparing your mind to have a more successful relationship is bearing in mind that going for a therapy is necessary. Just prep your mind to accept that intervention from a neutral person ( a therapist) can do wonders as long as you and your partner is really to give it a chance. So have it at the back of your mind that it will be fulfilling and healing to your relationship to have couples therapy session. When once your mind accepts this, you are already prepared to accept the process and enjoying the session will be natural and of course the outcome will be positive.
Control external influences
Family and friends often times play significant role while couples are attending or thinking about have couples therapy. It is alright to want to still have your family and friends support and care but you also need to filter what you hear and their opinions. Remember, you would be the one that will go through more pains, hurt, resentment and cold night if your relationships end so if your relationship is worth giving a fight then go for it.
You need to talk to your family and friends to respect your privacy and try not to listen to negative opinions why you shouldn’t continue with your relationship or why your partner isn’t the best for you. Prepare yourself by shutting all of that out and dwelling only on the positives.
Avoid a long wait
This is a natural fact, the longer a wait the more difficult it will be to resolve an issue or amend a damaging relationship. So it is pertinent to make up your mind as soon as possible to tackle any marital issue that is not of control. This is one way you can prepare yourself for a therapy session. Avoid taking too much time, it never too let to fight especially if things can be salvaged. It will worth a try no matter how long the issue has been in the relationship.
Get a good therapist
The last but not the least way of preparing for couples therapy is finding a good counselor or therapist. Don’t just prepare yourself and your partner but make sure your counselor is prepared too to handle your session and give you the success story you desire. You can go for a therapist that offers free consult over the phone so that you screen the therapist. Try to find out the therapist’s skills and technique because these two helps in therapeutic relationships.
How Effective Is Preparing For Couples Therapy
Research has shown that partners that had prepared their minds for couple’s therapy have a positive impact on their relationships. Because with preparation comes motivation and urge to see progress in their relationship. Statistics from recent studies shows 56% in marital satisfaction and improvement in relationship after about 5 years, though a little percentage of about 14% of couples remains unchanged after the therapy.
This goes to show that couple therapy is really effective especially when both partners were prepared right from the start and were committed to enhancing their relationship and sticking to treatment plan during and after the therapy session and period. This process mostly works when both partners are prepared and are ready to work on both their perspectives and habits.