The worst thing that can happen to anyone’s sex life is to be uncomfortable during sex. Sex need not be painful. It is meant to be an experience that intimately brings you and your partner together. When sex becomes painful, there is a problem and both partners cannot enjoy it.
Painful sex can affect the relationship between you and your partner. It puts a strain on your sexual life. However, painful sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Other women experience it, so don’t be scared.
Medically, painful sexual intercourse is called dyspareunia. This is defined as a recurrent genital pain that occurs before, during, or after sexual intercourse. You may feel this pain at a part of your vagina, or in your pelvic region, lower back, uterus, or bladder.
Women who have dyspareunia may experience pain at the various times including pain at sexual penetration, pain at both sexual and other penetrations including using a tampon, aching pain, and deep pain during thrusting. They may also experience throbbing pain which may last hours after sex.
What Are The Reasons For Painful Sex?
Painful sex can occur as a result of various factors which include physical problems, emotional issues, and gynecological conditions. Below are 15 reasons why painful sex occurs.
- Insufficient lubrication: Some women experience vaginal dryness as they approach menopause or after childbirth. When this happens, the lubrication is not sufficient and sex becomes a difficult task rather than fun. The woman may likely experience pain at penetration, during thrusting, and after sex. She may be left with injuries on the vagina or vulva.
- Emotions: Emotions like sexual anxiety, shyness, embarrassment, and a lack of body confidence are amongst the few emotions that can prevent arousal and affect lubrication, causing painful sex. These emotions can make you uncomfortable when you should relax and have fun.
- Vaginismus: This involves the state of mind during sexual intercourse. When the woman is afraid of being physically hurt, there is an involuntary spasm in the vaginal muscles resulting in painful sex.
- Shifting hormones: Hormones affect your sexual life. Menopause and other factors can cause low estrogen levels which makes the woman experience vaginal dryness. This will cause pains during penetration.
- Vaginal infections: These infections are common and can cause painful sex when not detected or treated. Yeast is a common example of vagina infections. It occurs when there is a change in the vagina balance, caused either by pregnancy, diabetics, use of lube, medical, or a weak immune system.
- Endometriosis: This occurs when similar tissue to that if the lining of the uterus grows outside the womb at other places in the body. Symptoms of Endometriosis are abdominal pain, infertility, and heavy periods. It is one of the causes of painful sex.
- Cervix problems: Cervix problems may occur at an opening in the uterus or infection. Where there is such an opening, the penis can at maximum penetration makes you uncomfortable. This can cause deep pain during penetration. Infections can also make a woman experience such pains.
- Problems with ovaries: Major problems in the ovaries may include cyst. Vagina cysts are non-cancerous cysts that grow on or under the vaginal lining. While cysts at the vagina may not be cancerous, they sometimes lead to itching, pain, or infection. Vagina cysts can cause pain during sexual penetration or any other type of penetration including the use of tampons. Injury during childbirth, a buildup of fluids in body glands, or benign tumors in the vagina are all causes of cysts.
- Uterus problems: Under these problems is fibroid which causes deep vaginal pain. Uterine fibroids are non-cancerous lumps that grow on the uterus. Its symptoms include painful sex, urinating urge, heavy periods, and cramping.
- Sexually transmitted diseases: These are types of diseases contracted through unprotected sexual intercourse which may include herpes sores, genital warts, and other STDs. Signs of STD are penal discharge, vagina discharge, burning or pain during urination, and painful sex.
- Ectopic pregnancy: This is a type of pregnancy where the fertilized egg grows outside the uterus. Sexual intercourse when this occurs is painful.
- Vagina or vulva injury: Injuries in the vagina caused by childbirth or episiotomy (cut at the area of skin between the vagina and anus during labor). If a woman has these cuts, she will experience pains during sexual intercourse.
- Pelvic Inflammatory disease: Usually caused by Sexually Transmitted Infection, PID affects the reproductive system of a woman including the ovaries, uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes.
- Sudden intercourse after childbirth or surgery: Childbirth and surgery leave the body sour as a result of cuts. Sometimes, it makes the vagina dry. Engaging in sexual intercourse soon after surgery or childbirth can be painful.
- Vulvodynia: Vulvodynia is a chronic pain that affects a woman’s external sexual organs called the vulva including the clitoris, labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening. There are two ways this pain can occur, it either affects just a spot or different areas, one at a time. When this happens, a woman cannot be penetrated without her feeling pains.
What Do You Do About Painful Sex?
The first step towards finding a solution to painful sex is to communicate with your partner. You just have to speak up no matter how embarrassing this may seem. Understand that what you are seeking is to have a great sexual life.
While some of the treatment for painful intercourse may not require medical treatment, others do. Reasons for painful sex including surgery and after childbirth which requires the patient to wait for at least six weeks before intercourse, and vaginal dryness which may require the use of lubricants. A doctor should be consulted for prescription of estrogen cream or other medication where the dryness is due to menopause.
Other causes of painful sex including STD, Vulvodynia, Ectopic pregnancy, PID, uterus problems, ovaries problems, Vagisinismus, amongst others may require you to visit a health professional.
Visit a doctor if you have persistent symptoms like vaginal discharge, involuntary vaginal muscle contractions, bleeding, irregular periods, and genital lesions.
The medical personnel may conduct a physical examination, pelvic examination, ask questions about your medical history, or any other examination he or she seems fit to find out is affecting your sexual life. Details of your sexual history might as well be needed to determine if any past event affects how you feel about sex.
Treatment for painful sex varies from one woman to another and is based on the reason(s) for such pains.
What Toys Can Help You With Less Painful Sex?
They are various options to consider when it comes to the treatment of painful sex. Pains during sexual intercourse can either be caused by infection or not. When it’s not caused by infection, it usually involves vaginal dryness or personal thoughts on sex, which most times lead to vaginismus and vulvodynia.
Sex toys are quite helpful in the above-mentioned cases. Of course, they won’t take away all the pains but will help if the problem involves a lack of arousal. Lubricants combined with sex toys can be used when it comes to vagina dryness. It is known that wetter is always better during sex.
Five Sex Toys That Can Reduce Painful Sex
Textured sensual glass dildo: Everyone who experiences pains during sexual intercourse should try glass toys and crystal wands as it can be cooled. You can chill this toy in the refrigerator for a while, use lots of lube, and prepare for mind-blowing orgasms.
Ohnut: This toy is perfect for those who experience pains during deep penetration. It comes in rings that allow partners to still enjoy penetration at a very comfortable level. Ohnut takes the worry of the pain away from you and leaves you with intimacy and pleasure.
We-vibe Tango Clitoral Vibrator: If a woman is experiencing Endometriosis and vulvodynia, then she needs a clitoral vibrator which hugs over the mons pubis just like we vibe clitoral vibrator. The rumbly settings in the vibrator make it relaxing on the muscles.”
Vagina trainer set: A trainer set comes with a dildo of various sizes to help you reduce pain during intercourse. You are to start with the smallest dildo which is the size of tampon and work up to the highest. You can use this solo then invite your partner. Take your time and apply lube while using this.
Finger Vibrator : Finger vibrators are so small it can fit into your palm. It is most ideal for anyone who wants to explore sexually with the partner. The vibrations become more and more intense as you increase it and can be used as your partner slowly enters you. Trust me, this is a toy you want to try.
Sex is what every couple looks forward to and when it becomes painful, there is a problem. Visit medical personnel for guidance if you experience such pains.