Is BDSM Safe For The Bedroom? 8 Safe Tips

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Is BDSM Safe For The Bedroom? 8 Safe Tips

Having watched the popular Fifty Shades of Grey which brought BDSM to the limelight, you might be wondering how you can bring that kind of spark and spice to your bedroom. Maybe you feel that a little spanking wouldn’t be bad, but you are yet to try it. You might think you would like to be tied up and controlled but you haven’t tried it yet. You long for the kinkiness that comes with BDSM activities but are confused about where to start from.

There are other thoughts on your mind too; Is it safe to introduce BDSM to the bedroom? How do you go about it? How will you approach your partner about it? This article will address these and other questions bothering on BDSM.

 

What Is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It can be hard to define. However, Wikipedia described it as “a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics.”

Spanking, tying up, role-playing and other erotic activities are all part of BDSM.

 

Is BDSM Safe?

Is BDSM Safe For The Bedroom? 8 Safe Tips

BDSM is not something you just jump into. It is not a spontaneous performance. Rather, it requires consent and agreement. Thus, it’s as safe as you and your partner make it. Here are factors that contribute to a safer BDSM experience.

 

Consensual agreements

For BDSM to happen, there must be an agreement between the parties involved. Couples decide who will be active (dominant or dom) and the passive (submissive or sub). Before the commencement of the BDSM, partners would have agreed on the limit they wish to go, who will be the dominant and submissive partner.

 

Be specific

Asking your partner to do something kinky to you is one thing, being specific about the kinky stuff you wish if a quiet different. Do you want to be tied to the bedpost and whipped? Or you wish to dress up in Superman customer and go get your Loius Lane? Whatever your desires are, tell your partner. You both will then plan on how to make real all your fantasies. BDSM works only with two consenting adults.

 

Safe word

Communication is the key to a safe BDSM. You should understand your partner’s needs before engaging in BDSM, know what they want and how they want it. Partners come up with a safe word or code to enhance communication. A safe word may be used to stop a scene or tell a partner to reduce the intensity. “Stop” “Water” and other words may be used as a safe word. A phrase or clause can also serve this purpose according to the agreement.

 

Respect

This is essential in a physically and emotionally demanding sexual activity like BDSM. Partners need to know their partners’ limits and respect them. The safe word whenever used must be respected and adhered to.

 

Aftercare

Is BDSM Safe For The Bedroom? 8 Safe Tips

Dominant partners are responsible for the well-being and safety of their sub during play. Both partners need to be aware of the kind of play they get into, the level of injuries involved and precautionary measures to take. Communication helps you understand what your partner needs after the play; some time alone, a cuddle or a number of other things. It guides you on how to care and tend to their injuries.

Since BDSM involves more exchange of fluids than regular sexual activities, it is advised that partners who engage in it go for medical checkups. Partners will show the results to one another. Those who are in a monogamous relationship need not check regularly. On the other hand, individuals who have multiple partners should go for medical checkups as much as they can.

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How To Introduce BDSM To The Bedroom

Introducing BDSM into your bedroom life can be tricky. You have to be careful to not damage or cause any rift in your relationship. Touchy subjects like sex require a careful approach. Here are three basic steps to introducing kink and sizzle into your bedroom life.

 

Talk to your partner

In approaching your partner to discuss how to introduce BDSM into your sexual relationship, you need to be soft, tactful, patient and resourceful. Sex, finances, children, religion, and politics are the quickest ways couples who are in long-term relationships or marriage pick a fight. Not everyone likes to be criticized for any of the issues above especially sex.

Thus approaching your partner may be the hardest part of introducing kinks into your bedroom play. He or she might feel like you are indirectly telling them either that they are not performing well or you are not satisfied.

The first thing you should know is that you don’t jump into this subject as it will likely cause a fight. Bearing in mind that all you wish is to improve your sexual relationship, start up this conversation when both of you are calm and relaxed. If you are tired or stressed out, then it’s definitely not a good time.

Your opening lines also matter. You could start up the conversation with: “Hey Darling, I have suggestions on how we can spice up our bedroom activities, do you mind if we talk about it?”
Your partner might get angry and feel insulted that maybe they don’t satisfy you, or they could be excited to hear from you.

If your partner reacts adversely, don’t be discouraged. Assure them of your love and how you would never do anything to hurt them. Don’t however allow the issue to get into a fight. If it does then a negative emotion has been anchored in the topic, bringing it up next time might be more difficult.

The next step to take is to tell your partner what’s on your mind. Give information on how you got to know about some kinky stuff, it could be from the Popular Fifty Shades of Grey, online videos and so on. Let them know the ones that appeal to you and explain how you slowly want to introduce them to the bedroom. Make available resources where your partner can read up those ideas by themselves. Give them some time to do so, a week or two will be just fine.

The third step to follow is to set up an appointment with your partner to discuss your findings. Carve out time for this, an hour or two. Take away every distraction including the kids.

Don’t forget to approach the issue calmly as this will build the relationship for a healthier, sexier and more amazing relationship.

 

Research

Is BDSM Safe For The Bedroom? 8 Safe Tips

Before you engage in BDSM, ensure you read contents and watch videos on it. You and your partner could hurt yourself if you are ignorant of how bondage and other forms of kinky stuff really work. Research is a great way to understand BDSM.

You can read online materials on bondage and BDSM. Videos are also a great way to learn. It is advised that you do this with your partner as it will give you both an insight into the different roles you are to assume.

Start little

It is advised that you start with the easy stuff especially if you and your partner are experiencing BDSM for the first time. You can start with bondage; using loose cuffs and clothes, to using thick ropes, tight cuffs and so on.

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