Most women usually ponder about the kind of questions to ask to end boredom in the bedroom. Basically, the only way to achieve a successful relationship is by establishing effective communication. If you are having problems in or out of the bedroom, it would be most advisable to talk through things and reach decisions together.
Here are some questions you should be asking if you suspect you or your partner is getting bored with your sex life. However, remember that before you ask these question, you need to ensure that you are in the mental space to listen to the answers that your partner shares. Feel free to pick and choose from the below lists which questions you are looking to tackle first.
The purpose is to help you and your partner find your way back to a more enjoyable and fun bedroom experience, and leave the boredom outside of your bedroom doors!
11 Questions To Ask To End Boredom In The Bedroom For Women
1. What have you always fantasized about doing in bed?
While this question might not get you very far as fantasies are almost impossible to satisfy, you will discover that your man will be impressed to a large extent if you are interested in this aspect of him and he will appreciate your effort in trying to meet up with his standards. Nonetheless it wouldn’t hurt you to try more in bed, you could scream more, scratch less- they may just be minor demands that will ensure you keep your man with a steady hand.
2. What did you often masturbate to as a teenager and would you be keen on trying that out as a couple?
People don’t really change, and this is mostly the same case in sex related matters. While some men may have outgrown their teenage fantasies, those teen years were the wildest years of their lives and that often says a lot about their extremities and what truly excites them. It might make you uncomfortable at first to watch or simply realize that your partner masturbates, especially if you already have a great sex life, but sometimes people have a higher sexual drive than others and you should be understanding and thankful he takes matters into his own hands rather than find solutions elsewhere.
If he is okay with letting you into this aspect of his life, you might get to learn tricks he uses on himself to get off more quickly, this way sex will be even more satisfactory for both of you.
3. What gets you irked out about our sex life?
Being open and calling a guy out on his inconsistencies in bedroom demeanor will most likely take you a step closer to figuring out what it is that he would like to change about your sex life. This way you are giving him a chance to bare his mind and contribute to this critical aspect of your relationship. Most times guys are turned off by certain things their ladies may do in bed and also by things they do right before or after sex.
You are not a mind reader, and even if you were, you probably wouldn’t know where to focus to unravel his issues. Ask him boldly what he hates about the sexual relationship– as a matter of fact both of you can share! Get to understand what it is about your sexual habits and bedroom traditions that he hates, you might also find out what he loves most, and by capitalizing on this be able to bring him to a mind shattering orgasm every time you have sex.
4. What kind of porn do you watch?
This still has a lot to do with what his fantasies are, a man might be more drawn to a certain kind of porn and this could help you figure out what it is that he wishes for in your sex life.
Most men seek the excitement they cannot enjoy in real life on the internet. Some of them even have as much as hundreds of porn videos saved for when they are alone, when they are desperate for release or simply when they are trying to release tension. It has been popular knowledge that porn and men go together like bread and jam. Don’t let this rattle you. Just like with masturbation, it is just a man’s way of giving himself something he feels no one else can.
Don’t be intimidated by the list of videos he might decide to share with you, and be very careful not to let this bring about insecurities in your relationship. A man just needs his own stash sometimes.
5. What kind of porn did you watch before we got married or started dating?
A man might decide he is too mature for certain kinds of pornographic videos or games or pictures after getting into a serious commitment. Often, guys change their preferences after marriage, they change their dressing styles, their walking step, and sometimes even their porn selections. This could help you notice what he is trying to compensate with porn.
An example being if he didn’t mind breast sizes in the pornographic videos he viewed before, and after marriage he switches to ‘extra extra large boobs’. While a quack example, this kind of shift will inform you that your husband is growing more interested in breasts for some reason and this should be what you capitalize on. By giving him more access to your breasts you could possibly nip this issue in the bud. Also, you could consider wearing more sexy underwear as some men are more turned on by the porn star’s closet than they are turned on by her body, but of course this isn’t always necessarily the case.
6. What are some things you would rather not do in bed?
Some men get irritated when clothes are strewn on the bed, this could be a major turn off for him. Some other men hate it when people, especially their women eat in bed, it could still be tied to the neatness factor, but some men also see it as a sluggish and lazy habit and largely disapprove of it. It would be best to know your man and how to make your bedroom most appealing to him. This could be your only real issue with him. The ‘bedroom factor’ with most men is the major turn on and if this is a letdown every single time, it is almost natural that he will grow completely bored in the bedroom.
7. What are your preferred positions and why?
This question comes in as the seventh, but that does not make it any less of a necessary question to ask. Rhis mostly targets how you present yourself to your partner to get the best possible result out of your sexual encounters with each other. While some men like their women on top so they can have the most access to boobs, other men like their women underneath because legs around their waists get them off faster than anything else. Know your man.
8. What is your ideal picture of a perfect sex life. How much sex would you rather have on a regular?
Unlike popular thought suggests, not all men are obsessed with sex all day every day. Sure, your man has to want to have as much sex as he possibly can with you, but some men are also moderate in their demand for sex. Understanding that comes through well planned out conversation and can help you reach a conclusion on what kind of sex your man will find most exciting. If he is into it, you could be that lady that surprises her man with the ‘no- panty’ kinda treat at his office just few hours after he arrived.
9. Are you into quickies or do you prefer to cuddle after sex?
For some men sex is deeply emotional, and for other men sex might just be the hard work that has to be done. Sometimes a quickie is all that they can muster or desire at the moment. You do not want to be clinging to a man who wants to be left alone after sex, and you do not want to leave your man vulnerable and lonely when all he wants is to be held after sex. Does the idea of ménage excite you?
This may not be an advisable option for all couples, but for some couples who are up to explore, this option could give you all the excitement you need.
10. Have you ever fantasized about BDSM?
BDSM (Bondage Dominant Submissive Masochism). BDSM refers to a sexual orientation where sex is more play than plan. In BDSM, the party who takes charge, be it the man or woman is called the Dominant (Dom), the other party is called the Submissive (Sub). Mostly the Dom is someone who’s natural orientation is to be in charge all of the time and the Sub is more of a follower.
Some men are into kinky things and weird fetishes, BDSM doesn’t have to be painful, maybe just handcuffs and few stimulation toys and your sex life might just bounce right back to life. The intrigue in trying something new to both of you might be all the medicine you’ll ever need in your sex life.
11. Have you ever thought of trying something different?
Some men have their own definitions of excitement. It is necessary to pay attention to what he describes as fun in and out of bed. This could be all you really need.
This article has no doubt helped you by bringing to light habits and attitudes of yours that your partner might be challenged by. It aims to improve your sex life in general and specifically help you achieve maximum satisfaction in the bedroom for yourself and the other party/ies involved.
By targeting sexual boredom and highlighting the measures to take to prevent and combat it, this article has proven to be a surefire way to get that big break you’ve been looking for from routine and sameness in your romantic and sexual relationship.
How To Improve Your Relationship
To solve the problem of boredom, some questions have been cooked up to help make communication for the sake of effectiveness so much easier. However, those questions make no difference whatsoever if actual steps are not taken to ensure a change in the general direction of the relationship.
Improve conversational skills
This does not relate to just talking to each other, it also refers to listening to each other and watching out for certain non-verbal cues that help you understand each other more.
Do more adventurous things together
The increased level of adrenaline basically ups the sensation of everything else, making sex even more mind blowing by fueling both sexual appetite and climax. An instance being the example set in the question 5, you could try something totally interesting and new like hand jobs, blow jobs, etc.
Be natural and real with each other
An instance being between couples who don’t speak of their emotions, don’t let their partners see their mistakes, don’t go to bed without makeup on. At some point, the illusion of perfection becomes a boring front. Your man wants to know you are human and that you can get down, but most importantly dirty for him. Any level of fondness you do not cultivate outside the bedroom will not magically sprout seeds when it comes to your sex life.
Relationships on the whole are a difficult thing to maintain, but as a lady, you need not worry too much about your man losing interest quickly as men are the more consistent gender in sexual relationships. However, it is vital to note that this is an issue that could lead to a possible break off of relationships, depending on how much sex means to the parties involved (and this generally varies amongst men). Reading this would have been able to get you to a point where you realize the importance of speaking to your man from time to time about your sex life, understanding his needs and knowing if you can or cannot fulfill them.
While the latter is the case in fewer situations, your will still be generally appreciative for your effort in working through his issues with him. This subject can be the yardstick you need to measure the viability of a major part or all of your relationship. However, if you are here to find traces or links that point out symptoms of disinterest and probable cheating in your partner, this article does not establish its points for those reasons and you might end up confusing yourself into believing something that may not be the case.
The need for sex cannot be overemphasized, especially in a relationship. Sex is not only very important to maintain balance in the human system and nature, but it is also a great source of excitement and pleasure and a form of bonding in relationships. However when all the fun and excitement and pleasure seems to be squeezed out of the activity, it can be very frustrating and boring for all the parties involved.
Related Relationship Questions
Can love exist without sex?
Many men have argued that a woman who loves you will give herself to you, to satisfy you and to prove her love and loyalty. This is a hard concept to argue as it seems to be validated by the action of the masses.
A number of women have strongly rooted against this ideology claiming they should be in absolute control of their bodies in or outside a relationship. The one point that is vital to note in this idea is that love comes in different ways for different people and the modes of expression largely differ.
Is it right for a girl to be turned on by a man other than the one she is in a relationship with?
Technically, a girl cannot control her hormones and if another man tends to trigger them, what really should matter is what she does with the feeling. Does she quench it at its beginning or build on it till she has cheated on her partner? This answers the questions of loyalty and morality all in one.